Once again, I’ve been struggling with my mental health.
It is honestly an ongoing battle. Some days are great, I feel awesome, and other days it is tough for me to keep going.
I am open and honest about my struggles in hopes that there are people out there dealing with something similar who can relate.
So for the past week or so I have just been feeling “off”. By that, I mean I feel overly anxious, less patient with my kids, and have a lot of self doubt.
This morning I decided to look in the mirror. And I mean REALLY look in the mirror. I wanted to figure out and understand internally why I am feeling this way. And I do think I have come to a conclusion.
It is almost summer break. Which means my kids will no longer be in school. Which means I will have to adjust my schedule to fit around their needs.
So there is a change happening in my life.
That is what is throwing me off.
I do not handle change well. Especially when the change isn’t something that I have initiated.
Summer break means my whole “schedule” is going out the window. We are going to have to create a whole new routine. This is stressful.
While I might not be specifically panicking about that, it makes sense that since that is something in the back of my mind, that it is affecting my mental health.
What can I do about it?
My plan is to recognize that this is normal. And to be proud of myself for figuring out what was going on internally.
I’m going to try to not be hard on myself. To continue to give myself grace. To speak kindly to myself. To understand that life changes and I just have to learn to adapt.
I keep saying to myself “every day is not going to be the best day of your life“. I am going to have days where my mental health struggles. That is just something I will have to deal with because of my anxiety.
I remember at the beginning of the school year for the kids, I went through something very similar. Just feeling “off”. But back in September, I was not mentally strong enough to pinpoint exactly what was going on.
It’s amazing to me how far I have come that I can actually take a step back and recognize this within me.
I’m only human. I can only control myself. I can’t control the things that change around me. The only thing I can control is how I react to those changes.
I am imperfect. I will never pretend to be anything else. I struggle with mental health issues. But I am a work in progress. I am doing my best to adapt to the situations around me and to be the best mom and human I can.
This morning, I got back on track.
I wrote 3 gratitude statements in the morning.
I worked out.
I was patient with my kids.
I got a full 8 hours of sleep last night.
I am motivated, optimistic, happy, and putting my best foot forward for the rest of the day.
Honestly, what more could I ask from myself?
Because to me, that’s the most important thing. Feeling within myself that I am doing the best I can. In motherhood. In life. Moving towards my goals and passions.
Giving myself grace is something I am really focusing on. I am trying to recognize that my life will never be perfect and that I have to be happy with the imperfections.