While I, personally, have not had an issue with setting boundaries in motherhood, I know that it is something other people struggle with.
The way I look at it is, I am responsible for my happiness, and the happiness of my kids. That’s it. That’s all I can control. So as a result, I do not have the mental or emotional capacity to worry if I am making everybody around me happy. I already have enough on my plate.
So if something comes up and we get an invitation somewhere and it does not fit into our lives, I simply say “no”. Does it sound rude sometimes? Maybe. But like I said, I cannot make everybody happy.
Setting boundaries does not come as natural to me as my ability to say no. In motherhood, you hear a lot of opinions from other people on how you “should” be doing things. What I have been trying to do is set boundaries for the things that make me feel like I am not a good mom.
As long as my kids think I am a good mom, that is the only thing that I am worried about. I honestly could not care less if you or your mom or your sister think I am not doing a good job. Again, that is not my priority. So if somebody’s goal is to make me feel, even for a nanosecond, that I am not being a good mom, then I will keep them at a distance.
That is just something I am beginning to do for my mental health. My confidence in motherhood before this year was SO low. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. That was definitely in part because of my anxiety/depression, but I refuse to let myself sink back there again.
I am genuinely more confident than I have ever been in every single aspect of my life. If that is something you don’t agree with, please keep it to yourself. The only thing that matters to me is what I think about me and what my kids think about me.
My point is this: YOU can only be responsible for YOU. Honestly, nothing else matters. Nobody’s opinion of you matters. As long as you wake up every single day and do the best you can, then what more can you ask for? Be proud of yourself, because motherhood is so hard, and you are crushing it every day.