This past weekend was Mother’s Day. It’s supposed to be a day for a mom to relax and enjoy all the things that she loves with no stress, right?
That might be the case for some of us, but I’d say for most of us, having a day off of being a mom is impossible.
For me, it is because no matter what I am doing, I am a mom first. It would be amazing sometimes to be able to fully hand over that responsibility, but that’s just not the way it works.
Even if I am not with my kids, I am still always thinking of them and wondering if they are doing okay.
So of course Mother’s Day was supposed to be about me and having a relaxing time. But it honestly was very stressful.
We went up to a family member’s house to enjoy the day. What I didn’t realize was that the pool would be open.
As soon as I saw that it was open, my immediate thought was “oh no, I didn’t bring swim suits”. Which wouldn’t have been a big deal, but EVERYONE ELSE’S KIDS had their swimsuits and went right in the pool.
My kids were devastated. I had literally every single person come up to me asking me if I brought their bathing suits. I felt SO GUILTY for not thinking of this.
I know I was being extra hard on myself, but seeing my kids sitting outside of the pool while everyone else was in it truly broke my heart and almost brought me to tears.
They kept saying “mom, why didn’t you bring our bathing suits?” And I didn’t have an answer for them. I genuinely just didn’t think of it.
Long story short, I ended up running to the mall close by and picked up bathing suits for them so that they could enjoy a pool day.
But damn, mom guilt is a trip, right? Do you think my husband felt guilty for forgetting their swimsuits? Do you think everyone asked HIM if HE forgot their swimsuits?
Nope. It all falls on the moms shoulders. Always. Which is so powerful, but also so exhausting.
Today, I am trying to remember to give myself grace. It wasn’t my fault that I forgot the swimsuits. And I did make the best of the situation and my kids ended up having a great day.
We all have off days. Mom guilt is something that I pride myself on not allowing myself to dwell on, so I am putting my energy into focusing on the positive sides to Mother’s Day.
Was it a perfect day? No. Did I feel many moments of guilt? I did. If I could go back, I obviously would just have packed swimsuits, but hindsight is 20/20.
In the past, I would have allowed something like this to cause my to spiral. Now, I am telling myself that I am a good mom no matter what. I felt guilty. We all feel guilty about things sometimes. That doesn’t make me any less of a good mom.
Shifting my mindset has been such a game changer for me. So when I can recognize that something is bothering me and I can sense that I am putting too much energy into that, I shift it into something positive.
Instead of focusing on the ONE thing I did wrong (forget swimsuits), I am going to focus on the things that I did right.
I took the step to go out and buy the kids bathing suits so they could enjoy the day. And they did. As soon as I got back from the mall, both kids ran up to me and hugged me and thanked me.
While I am far from the perfect mom, I genuinely always have my kids best interest at heart. THAT is what makes me a great mom.