All moms have heard of this so called “village” that new moms need to have to rally around them as they transition into motherhood. I recognize that not everyone is lucky enough to have a village, but please allow me to just express my gratitude with this post for all of the amazing people that I have in my life.
Let me just start with the main person who helped me gain my footing into motherhood – my mother in law. Now, when I explain to people how much she does for our family on a daily basis, everyone’s response to me is always “you are so lucky” but that is an understatement. I don’t know if I could ever express my gratitude for how much she helped me when I felt like I couldn’t help myself. She was there for me and my family during my darkest times during motherhood and I will never, ever forget that. I wish that I could repay her somehow for all that she has done for me, but I know she loves my kids as her own and I hope the love that she feels from me and my family is enough. My kids are so, so, so lucky to grow up with such an amazing role model.
My sister and I were pregnant at the same time with her second child and my first. My sister was thrown into motherhood before I was, so I truly had no idea what she was going through. But after I became a mom, our bond got so much stronger. She was the one person who I felt like I could vent to and she wouldn’t say to me that I was “failing” or “why would you do that”. Instead she always lifted me up and gave me advice without being too pushy, and gave me some of the resources that I still rely on to this day. Her wisdom and knowledge about motherhood has always been something I admired and continue to admire as we grow together as moms. When I think of what the epitome of what a good mom is, I think of my sister.
Some people feel like they don’t have a partner that pulls their own weight in parenting, but I am lucky enough that my husband has always been hands on and always puts his family’s needs above his own. He has been there for my at my lowest and has also given me the space to grow and become my own person outside of being a mom and wife which has been so amazing for my mental health and confidence. While I do take on most of the parenting and household chores, he does help out on the weekends and it is because of him and his support that I am able to only work part time doing a job that I genuinely enjoy. We are a great team and I am lucky to that my kid’s get to grow up with such a great dad.
Growing up, I always knew I was loved and cared for and that if I needed anything from my parents, that they would be there for me no matter what. Transitioning to motherhood was no different. Both of my parents offered me support the best they could and I am grateful that each time I reached out and asked for help, that they would drop everything and come over. I hope that my kids grow up feeling as safe and secure as I always had the luxury of feeling.
The importance of a “village” is simple really – becoming a mom changes you at your core. If you don’t have a village around you to remind you of who you were before becoming a mom, it’ll be even harder to find your footing after. Not to mention, in my opinion, having some time away from your kids is crucial to regain confidence and find the things that you truly enjoy and that is almost impossible to do without a village. I am so lucky and thankful for my village. I definitely wouldn’t be where I am today without them.